What Is Transactional Analysis?
So, what exactly is TA? How does it affect the way we think and behave? What can we do to control the states we are in? And what effect can that have in our lives?
Transactional Analysis Ego States
These life scripts have a profound effect on how we think, feel, and behave. We are conditioned to respond in a certain way, based on the results we have achieved with that type of behaviour before.
If someone is ‘conflict-averse’, it may be due to the circumstances they experienced while growing up as a child. If someone has a short-fuse and reacts angrily to the most innocuous of situations, there’s a possibility he or she was conditioned that way from experiences at an early age.
Hence, the development of the ‘script’ by which we decide to behave.
Changing this script is the aim of transactional analysis psychotherapy. Societal or experience scripting can be replaced with co-operative, collaborative behaviour through discussions on the analysis of TA.
The three ego states or ways of being can be likened to three phases of life we experience
How we respond to situations and stimulate the other’s response in a conversation can depend on several areas:
- How did we respond to similar influences when we were young?
- What past traumas did we endure?
- How is the other treating us?
- What messages are our brains interpreting and what meanings are we getting?
- How important is the relationship I have with this person?
These and many other questions can determine firstly how we respond to the transaction we are having, and secondly how we will be stimulated to carry on the transaction.
This is exactly why Team Leader Apprenticeships, among the courses we offer, have gained significant popularity! Through these apprenticeships and courses, leaders can begin to understand and appreciate why they behave in a certain way and can then take that on to how their people and teams behave the way that they do.
The Child State
Transactional analysis discussed two components of the child state: adapted and free child.
This ego state builds on the reinforcements we were given when a child.
- Were you given praise often?
- Did your parents admonish you for certain behaviours?
- Was your childhood filled with happy memories or negative experiences?
Depending on how you were brought up, your experiences will still have effects on our transactions today.
The adapted child tries to please others and likes to be liked, so they act in accordance with others’ wishes. They could come across as submissive or timid, allowing others to control their feelings, sometimes without standing up for themselves.
The free child state can be seen as a spontaneous nature, intelligent, free-flowing, innovative and creative in their thinking. This could be part of the conditioning where the child was allowed to be free to express their ideas and had more freedom to adapt to various situations without being told to ‘be quiet’ or ‘sit down and shut up’.
There are, of course, different levels of each of these two components, so it would be incorrect to say a person is one or the other when they paly the child’s role in a transaction.
One way to think of a child’s response is to whom are they interacting in this way? If to a ‘parent’ ego state, you may see the person not wanting to disagree with that other person, just accepting orders to keep the peace. Or they may be flippant and joke around, covering up for some inadequacy seen by the parent model.
The Parent State
The parent is an ego state reflected on how the person’s parent figures brought them up. If a stronger parent figure was a grandparent or teacher, that may have had a bigger effect on how the person feels an adult needs to respond to situations.
Again, there are two components to an adult state: Critical/controlling, and nurturing.
Eric Berne believed that the biggest contribution to how we view the parent state was decided in the first few years of life. One way of looking at a parent state is concerning the judgements we have of others and of situations. Our rules and standards often come from these parental figures. How a person thinks someone else should behave often comes from the examples placed on us by parental figures.
A critical parent state may well judge others by what they ‘should’ or shouldn’t’ do. Their rules are their rules, and everyone should abide by them. If they don’t, then they are judges as wrong, or inconsistent, or selfish, or similar. Feedback could be delivered in an aggressive, passive-aggressive or harsh way.
A nurturing parent ego state would drive a person to be more understanding and softer in their approach. They would see a situation without judging, attempting to be more curious as to why a person would say or do something. A nurturing disposition may be helpful in trying to calm situations down or when establishing closer relationships.
The Adult State
This only has one component or division attached to it. Whereas the child and parent state may be driven by past experiences and conditioning, the adult state considers the here and now situation.
The adult state is more open to discussion, more curious as to why people feel the way they do, has more time for sifting through data and information, is more respectful of others’ opinions, is willing to collaborate and compromise, and enjoys more close and healthy relationships.
We often find the adult state is employed when making decisions that will affect others or solving problems in a working environment.
How the states interact
Depending on what state we choose to adopt, a transaction with others could thrive or whither away to nothing. It could make a difference between building a strong relationship with another or causing a deep division between people.
Eric Berne recognised that we experience positive and negative interactions all through our lives and referred to these as ‘strokes’. A positive stroke makes us feel good about ourselves, whereas a negative interaction causes the opposite effect.
How each person you interact with gives and receives these strokes can make a big difference in how they perceive each other.
Which of these ego states do you believe achieves the best results in most situations?
TA concludes that adult to adult communication is the one that elicits the most helpful results.
Replies to This Discussion